You Know What, I Actually Like War!

By: I, I.E.D. 

Hear me out…, oil. The United States’ abducting the President of Venezuela and bombing the Supreme Leader of Iran might be devastating, might be drastic overreaches of presidential power, might be so skibidi Ohio, but at least it’s good for business. 

   More than anything, I am pro-America. That means that what’s good for the country is good for me. Do we think it’s some coincidence that the countries we’ve taken military action against are both members of the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC)? No. This is clearly a maneuver for the U.S. to strike liquid gold. 

   After removing President Nicolas Maduro from Venezuela, the U.S. has overseen exports from the country’s state-owned oil company, PDVSA. After starting the war in Iran, the U.S. used its influence over the company and the country to increase production and ease sanctions for the purpose of upping the global oil supply. The catch, though, is that the money from Venezuela’s exports goes first to U.S. controlled accounts, so the U.S. decides what money goes in and out. https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/u-s-eases-sanctions-on-venezuelan-oil-as-trump-seeks-to-boost-world-oil-supply-during-iran-war 

   As an American, I like the U.S. controlling all the money. Eventually, some of that money might trickle down to me. Or maybe it will go to the United States military budget, the largest in the entire world.  

   By destabilizing and coopting foreign oil reserves, the United States can set itself up for economic independence, and we wont even need to drill our own oil to do it. We can just take it from other countries and hold the profits for ourselves. 

   Venezuela and Iran may just be the first steps because oil prices are still high as Iran is attacking its neighbor’s oil infrastructure. That’s the short-term pain for long-term gain. Sure, the gas prices are up over a dollar from what they were before the war, but who cares? I sure don’t because I’m on my eleventh round of interviews with Palantir and Lockheed Martin. I’m basically a millionaire in the making.